Blessings – A Turning Point

How could I not have known how worthy I am of receiving?

How could I not have seen my true light and value?

How could I have spent the last 36 years without constantly honouring and bowing before the divinity that moves through me, that I am?

 

May I remember to bless myself, to love myself, to nurture myself and to honour myself.

May I eat food consciously and with gratitude.

May I stretch my beautiful body and feel the strength and grace in my muscles.

May I thank my mind for all the beautiful thinking it does for me.

May I appreciate my joints for bending and staying healthy and lubricated.

May I honour the tremendous amount of work that my organs, skin and bodily systems complete, without ever taking a break.

May I look at myself in the mirror and know that my body temple is magnificent and that it houses my bright and shiny soul who wants to come out to play and to love and to dance with all of creation.

May I remember to thank my heart, for beating and for leading me into this new territory of being open and vulnerable.

May I celebrate the fierce passion arising within me, the one that makes me feel like I have the power to ignite that same fire within the bellies and hearts of all.

May I honour myself so much that I never once question whether I should be authentic or not.

May my heart be light and may I nourish myself with love, healthy food, prayer, chanting, nature, dance and wonderful company as never before.

May every choice I make and every breath I take be rooted in love and gratitude and reverence for the being that I am.

May I always remember that I am worth it and that it is never a sacrifice to stop and take better care of all of my precious self.

Namaste and Wohoo, all at once : )

 

Note from me: I listened to the Guided Meditation for Conscious Eating from Ramdesh Kaur’s meditation CD called the Body Temple. It opened me up to all the ways that I could and wanted to honour myself more deeply.  It was a deeply transformational experience that led me to hearing the words above in my head.

I see you

Sitting in a dark corner

wishing, hoping, hating.

I see you in the dark.

From where I sit, there

is light all around you,

but you can only see the darkness.

My dear one,

stand up and

step out of the darkness.

With one gentle I love you to your heart,

to your shattered innocence,

it gets easier to stand up.

No more seclusion,

no more punishment and doubt.

Rise up, dear one, rise up

and honour the magnificence that you are.

 

Note from me: my heart gave me these words a few hours after a conversation I had with someone.  I was driving and I felt a lot of pressure in my chest and I realized that I needed to write some words down.  After I wrote them, I felt a lot better and I knew that these words were my heart’s way of sending healing to all those who felt the same as that person I talked to, which is exactly how I used to feel.

Me – A Poem

In the name of celebrating me and welcoming home all of me, I wrote this poem about myself.  May I remember each day to honour and cherish the one I am, and may this poem inspire you to do the same. 

We are all worthy and we all matter, we just have to remember that no one can make us believe that we are worthy and that we matter, we have to be ready to step into ourselves, one little step at a time, and then we’ll always know our worth. 

Me – A Poem

A golden, elegant light shines brightly.

It calls to others with its brilliance, peace and patience.

It says

There is nothing to fear dear one,

It is safe for you to come home now.

It opens its arms wide and from its heart

Shines a swirling rainbow of shimmering light

And all who see it melt into the tenderness

Of their own hearts and

Remember that they too are brilliant

Beautiful and golden.

 

The light shines from within me.

I see it in the ever increasing softness in my face

In the tender and sweet curves of my body

And in my gentle and caring smile.

My body grows stronger and gentler

From basking in the light of its own soul.

 

I am a woman

I am strength

I am power

I am gentleness

I am the whisper and the yell

I am the waterfall and the beautiful pool at the bottom where the water rests after its tremendous and crashing descent

I am an angel

 

I am the one who holds a lantern and calls to those lost in the pits of despair and hell.

Come follow me, I say.

Come follow me.

I am only going to lead you home to heaven, for it lies within your own heart

And it has been waiting for you all along to turn inward.

I can show you the way, because I know it from having suffered.

Follow me dear one, you are safe now.

 

I am emerging and learning.

I am grace in form.

Namaste.

 

 

 

The end of living a “falsely perfect” life

I have been striving to live a perfect life for a very long time.  While I am only 36 years old, I feel much older at times because of the weight that this need for perfection has been on my shoulders and heart.

Over the last few weeks I have felt angry.  I have felt angry at myself for pushing down my power and my strength, all in the name of living this falsely perfect life that had no need or want for power or strength. I defined “falsely perfect” as the need to always be nice, to be able to say that “yes, things are great,” whenever asked, to not ever get mad or be “mean, and to have things so perfectly organized and arranged so that I could feel good. What I have started to see is how exhausting this way of living has been for me, as well as limiting and frustrating!

I was lying in bed this morning and I felt myself lifting up inside, like I was being lifted to a higher level of awareness and freedom and potential.  A few hours later, I was seething mad, like I wanted to yell and scream and break things, so when I lay down to rest and breathe, I said, “I surrender this false and limiting way of living.  I surrender the belief that only certain ways of existing are perfect.  I surrender the inner critic and judge.”  I was also feeling what it felt like as I was saying those things, so I was using my feelings as guide about what to do.  It was amazing because it was like all the anger I have felt about forcing myself to live in this falsely perfect was guiding me to free myself.  It was like that part of me rose up and helped me to say, “ENOUGH,” and that gave me the knowledge and strength to free myself from this pretend prison and to welcome back all parts of me.

I saw myself smashing down those prison walls and I felt rising, falling and melting within me, almost like the parts of me that I was surrendering (and the prison walls) were being absorbed, pulled into my heart, bounced around, healed and released to be free.

Ahhhh, deep breath : )

Here I am, an hour after crashing down my prison walls and I felt the need to write about it.  I feel like I have all of this energy within me and it still wants to crash through life and push things out of the way, because it’s been buried down deep within me for so long.  I am so interested and keen to get to know these parts of myself, and get to know their passions and interests and desires!   I feel like I unknowingly buried my strength and power in an attempt to live a “good girl” kind of life, and now all I care about is living authentically and crashing down all the walls of falsehood that exist within me and around me.  I know I won’t physically crash things down, but I think that me and my newfound power and strength will become good friends and that I will have much renewed energy in the coming days, weeks and months as this change settles within me.  I am very excited to see what happens in my life as I meet each new day and each breath with a more integrated and united me.

May we all be blessed with the clarity to see where we have been unknowingly limiting ourselves and with the courage to break down those walls!

 

 

 

Hourglass of Humanity

Hourglass of Humanity

To the parts of me that are peeling away and who feel unsafe about where the shedding will take them, I love you.

To the parts of me who feel so broken and unravelling and who don’t know where to go or what to do or how to act, I love you.

To the waves of emotions that wash through me, both gently and with full force, I love you.

I am learning to be the observer of all that happens within me and through me and around me, but the ones who are merging, shedding, peeling away and molting are unsure about how to do this.

Is it me I am feeling or just the waves of emotions that all humans feel?

I do think we are connected through our feelings and through our truest and deepest natures. It’s like we’re an hour glass, collectively and individually, and we feel it when the sand moves from one side to the other, kind of like how humanity is moving from living unconsciously to living more consciously, but the hour glass keeps flipping throughout that evolution, so that we can have the ultimate experience of growth, both personally and collectively.

Today, the hour glass has flipped and I am feeling that despair, that pain, fatigue and exhaustion. By writing this though, I feel better.  The hour glass will tip again and I can watch the grains of sand pouring through me, no matter what they bring along with them to be witnessed, observed and loved.

Peace to you and to all.

Note from me: I wrote this nearly two months ago and it helped me to be more patient, loving and understanding with myself as I was flipping back and forth between feeling blissful and lost. I can sense that I will expand on this topic in the near future as I have more insights from going through this!  May it help you! Namaste!!!

 

Dissolving

Introduction

I wrote this poem a few days ago, when I was feeling so much pulling me away from myself and I didn’t know what to do.  I was trying to work at my desk, but it was hard and I felt like I was barely staying above the surface of what I was feeling.  For some reason, I decided to write, and through doing so, a deeper experience of the “pull” came to me and I was freed a few hours later as it sank in.  May these words bring awareness of the pull that is the ego, that is the unconsciousness on the planet, so that you may see how free you already are.  Many blessings to you!

Dissolving

There is a part of me that never needs to be fed by anything
as it is complete, whole and self-nourishing.
However, the part of me that feeds off of drama, junk food,
competition, hate, anger, rage, despair,
overwhelm, panic and sadness
is present.
It is showing me it is present.
It is wanting me to feed it
endlessly
ceaselessly and
without any regard to conscious action.

I see you.
I feel you.
I know your hunger.
I cannot feed you in the way that you want, crave or need.
I am waking up and you are hungry.
I know you will never be satisfied, that you will always crave, reach, pull, grab and hang on.
I don’t know what to do for you, except to be your witness,
the witness to what drives humanity to be inhuman,
the witness to the cause of the suffering of all beings,
the cause of the competition, greed and destruction
that is now ready to be revealed;
ready to be loved
nurtured
witnessed and
dissolved
through compassion, separation and merging with the wholeness within.

May your dissolving be gentle, peaceful and loving.
May I have the courage to be your witness
no matter how fiercely you crave, hunger or hold on.
I love you and I am here,
separating from you
witnessing you
loving you as your journey comes to this point of completion.
Thank you.

May all beings be blessed with the courage
clarity and awareness to separate from the hunger
and merge with the one who never hungers.
May the homecoming of the one who hungers be glorious.

 

Emergence

What if all the longing I felt my whole life was just so simple?
What if I thought I longed for another, when really,
I was just longing for myself?
For my own attention,
comfort,
care,
compassion and
love?
What if every time I longed to be passionate about a cause like my friends
or to have a boyfriend or
a romantic encounter,
all I really wanted was for me to turn around
and take a look at the beauty and rawness that was always there?
What if all of the external things were only traps
that I unknowingly fell into again and again,
feeling the press and pressure to fall in
from society
from family
from what is expected
and normal
and what should be done?
What if now I’ve fallen enough times?
What if I choose to be done climbing out of the holes and traps?
What if I choose to turn around,
to be bold and brave
and to embrace the me that has always been here;
the real me,
the one who has been patiently waiting for me,
the one who never longed, desired, craved or grew angry?
The one who accepted me and all of the distractions I got caught up in,
knowing that at one point,
it’s love, benevolence and grace
would catch my true attention.
What would happen then?
What did happen…
I learned to turn around and
I found a raw, pure and innocent part of my being that has always been with me.
It has an unbroken connection to infinity
to the stars
to the universe
to the divinity within all.
I went for it.
I stepped toward it and it has been entering me and filling me since.
Where it will take me, I don’t know, but I’m not falling, I’m only
cycling with the waves of emotion that are rising up within me
from such a radical
yet obvious
choice.
Through a willingness to have an open heart,
to live from vulnerability instead
of from fear and protection
and a realisation that all of my dreams had come true
before I had even noticed,
I turned around.
At that point, the gateway to my vulnerability opened
and it was gently guided by a beautiful soul with whom
I have shared past lives,
who whispered to me,
who helped me turn around and thank myself.  He helped me
to realise the beauty in my own heart and
to feel the purity and innocence within me;
radiating and pulsing like a star about to be born.
I am grateful to be here.
I am grateful to be emerging.
May I fly like the firefly,
landing gently on the arms of my fellow brothers and sisters,
reminding them of the light that is within them…
if only they would just turn around
and look.