I think we’ve all heard, “it happened for a reason,” about an experience that we are going through or have gone through. Sometimes that statement can be so obviously true, or super infuriating if the experience is what we may deem as horrible and painful, and it may lead us to wonder what we have done to “deserve it.”
The guide that I’ve been going to see for nearly two years now to clear out all the old energies, karma, emotions and memories, has been repeating several truths to me and I’m starting to get that our experiences can teach us and show us that which we haven’t wanted to see, if we can allow it and be willing to look deeper.
Last week, I got off the bed in our spare room, stepped onto the floor and a sharp, stabbing pain filled my foot! I screamed out really loudly and I was scared about what could have caused it. I felt the panic rising in my chest and I was nervous. I gently took my sock off and there was a small piece of wood sticking out of it. I’ve had splinters before, but this seemed more like a shard of wood or something and it frightened me even more. My husband wasn’t home and I realized I was going to have to deal with it myself, which I rarely have done in my life. My Dad was always my splinter remover and that job just fell to my husband since he was good at it. I never questioned it, but just said to myself, “ya, I must go to a man to get my splinter removed.” Ha, I’m laughing as I type this because that thought was so true.
I hopped over to the bathroom to get some tweezers and I was really starting to feel like a victim by the time I got there. Despite all the tools I have learned for connecting to myself, breathing deeply, acknowledging the fear and feeling it, I was in panic mode and no tool thoughts were able to enter through the panic I was feeling. I grabbed the tweezers and yanked it out. It was still really throbbing and painful and I lay on the bed and tried to come deeper into my body and to send some love to where the pain was. It was only after the piece of wood was out that I was able to start using some tools, but the panic had taken over and it was slower going than if I had connected to myself right away. That’s okay, it was all part of what I was meant to learn and see.
I limped a fair bit on and off for nearly a week, so I figured that there must be another piece of wood in my foot, which kind of kept me in a slight fear mode for that entire week. Finally, the day came when I walked and the pain was so excruciating that I knew that there must be more wood in there and that my body had been working so hard to push it closer to the surface for me. I had probed around with the tweezers when I initially took it out but I hadn’t been able to see anything. So, after feeling that pain at the end of the week, I knew that I would have to break through the skin (yikes!) and pull out the beast!
Robbin (my husband) and I were armed with tweezers, nail clippers and needles to try to get it out, and I was squirming and too scared to let Robbin try to take it out. I tried myself and I felt a lot of “this is so hard, this is going to hurt, I can’t do this,” thoughts and energies moving through my body, so I stopped and breathed and connected to myself. I thought then that I could let Robbin do it, but it was like I just couldn’t, so I decided to try it myself again. It got a little easier and less scary, and then I stopped and realized that the reason why this happened to me was so that I could take back my power from splinters and from my body being hurt and hoping/asking that others take care of me. I mentioned that to Robbin and I felt much lighter inside. I was able to really dig out the thick skin (yikes, but this time it was much less of a yikes) and then I was able to grab it. I breathed, got the tweezers ready and I pulled it out. It was sooooo long and thick, it was crazy! It was an inch long and a millimetre thick at one end and likely a millimetre and a half at the other end. I exclaimed out loud about it and then I didn’t want to look at it! Robbin encouraged me to, to look at it, appreciate what my body had gone through, and what a personal victory I had just achieved in its removal. I looked at it from that perspective and marvelled at it and I felt so free, so happy, so empowered! It was the biggest splinter I’d ever seen and I was able to see the lesson it had for me and I was able to free myself from the grip of “help me, I don’t know what to do, I can’t do this by myself.” Hooray!
I took out the garbage that night and it was really cold and refreshing and I got to the end of the driveway and I looked around and then I was overwhelmingly compelled to run up and down the driveway pumping my arms in the air and yelling, “I did it, yes I did it!” Tee hee, I don’t think anyone saw me, but if they had, they would have joined me I’m sure!
I hope to keep getting the secret messages that my life’s experiences have to share with me!