For the last six months, a deeper me has been emerging and I have been witnessing a form of my own death. I feel like I have been swinging back and forth between this hugely powerful me and this little and small version of myself that is now ready to dissolve and make room for the bigger me.
A lot of my writing lately has been about this swing and this emergence and dissolving and it has been deeply healing for me. I have been putting so much effort into loving the dissolving parts of me and that has been wonderful and amazing, but lately I have been feeling like I needed to take a different course of action, although I wasn’t sure what it was.
This evening, while I was driving to the grocery store, I felt all of the old emotions coming up, like they were dissolving and healing, and then I felt a greater and deeper part of me say, okay, enough, it’s time to focus on the one who is emerging, and not the one who is dissolving. And that voice within me told me to start writing blog posts about learning to live from this new power that is emerging within me, instead of what is leaving and dissolving. It’s almost as if the old that is dissolving is already on it’s way out and it knows it is honoured and loved, or else it wouldn’t be leaving! Neat, eh?
I sometimes feel shy about allowing the emerging one within me to be fully present in my everyday life and now that I’ve made this choice to focus on it, I’m both nervous and excited because I have a feeling that it will take me under its wing and teach me to shine, lead and roar, more than ever before.
I want to give myself permission to:
- be a motivator, both for myself and for others
- speak the truth that my being wants to speak, without always trying to fit in or please others.
- rally people and bring them together in peace and unity and excitement because it is fun to be alive!
- dance and sing wherever I go and not be scared of the judgement of others.
- be the full me that I came here to be, without being shy or wondering if it’s okay to be my full and true self.
- host workshops for learning how to come home to your heart that would include journalling, chanting and dancing.
- write more and more and more.
- know that I am worth it, that I matter and that I am very, very capable.
- love my self so much and to let that radiate out to others.
I know that I am an empathic person who feels very much and that I don’t always need to focus on every little thing that I feel, but that I can focus on this new power emerging within me and let it do the work of living a life! It’s funny, because this writing feels so freeing, yet so new; it’s really reinforcing that it’s time for me to focus on the power because I’m not as comfortable with that yet, because I have spent so much time comforting my scared little self.
May we all blossom and emerge in our own time and in our own unique way and may we all complement each other’s openings. May we all be blessed with the courage to be our amazingly powerful selves!