Why let the emotions do you in?

I like that question.  I also like the idea that I am trying not to give up my power and my life to the emotions I experience. This kind of feels like a monumental task, but I’m taking it a day at a time, actually, I’m taking it situation by situation and that’s really all I can do.

Tee hee, this was me before I realized how I let the stress take over (from baloocartoons.com)

This afternoon, I went to Costco with our nearly 3 year old daughter.  Everything went smoothly, we didn’t buy the whole store, we stuck to what was on the list, except for the monster box of granola bars.  I have a new recipe for granola bars that is so ridiculously good (thanks Lisa!!!) but I still bought a box. So there you go, I bought them.  It’s the Costco consciousness, “look at this big box, I must need it, they’re tasty, they’re mostly healthy, never mind that I can make equally good, if not better ones at home, I must buy these.”  I figure that coming out of there with only one superfluous purchase is pretty good.

That ramble aside, here’s where the emotions came in.  We were waiting while they scanned all of our items.  Zara was in the cart and it was close to the time for me to pay.  So I said to her, “okay I’m going right over here to pay with my debit card.”  I started to swipe it and she said, “Mommy, get me out of here.”  I said, “You can just turn the other way and you’ll be able to see me,” as I was thinking that was what she needed.  Then I swiped and the card didn’t read, and then I looked up and she was trying to get out of the cart, the guy was trying to help her, and then I tried to swipe again, starting to freak out, like, “holy moly, what do I do, do I get her out, do I swipe again, is the card going to work, like there are people waiting in line, is Zara going to fall out?”  Honestly, that’s what was going on.  So I breathed, went over to Zara, helped her out of the cart, like I will do from now on, like if she needs out and there are people waiting, it will be okay if they wait an extra 20 seconds, it’s okay.  That’s how I recovered.  Why would I favor a line of people at Costco over my daughter?  Why did I create all of that stress? Did anyone say anything to me, like, “hurry up?”  No!!  But the emotions of panic and must hurry and must run around without my head, all came up.  Luckily it only lasted about 10 seconds, although it felt longer, and then I recovered, I breathed, I got Zara out, the guy ended up swiping my card and getting it to work and then I paid and breathed and started walking out.  I actually said to the cashier, “I started getting all nervous,  and it was me who created the stress, I’m working on it, and I’m not going to create stress like this anymore.”  He smiled at me and was like, “Ya, why worry.”  It was awesome, he had a Caribbean accent, I think he is totally carefree, he seemed like it, aren’t Caribbean islands like that?  We can all do with that a bit.

Then, I pulled over the cart and explained to Zara what had happened, how I had given up my power to the emotions, and that I was able to get it back and how it’s super important to be grounded and to remember to breathe so you can recognize it. I think she kind of got it, tee hee, who knows.  What’s important is that she see me breathe, reconnect with myself and take back my power from the phantom stress that I created.

That’s my daily challenge to myself, can I see the emotions for what they are, merely emotions?  They aren’t me. They never were.  And now, I’m going to make sure I do my best to stay on top of them, laugh when I don’t and continue the challenge, to be true to me instead of to my thoughts and emotions, which are never a true reflection of me and the love that I am inside.  If you’re reading this, think about one thought you had today, one thought that side-tracked you, that took over, and then laugh and know that it isn’t you, it never was.  You are great, you aren’t fat or stupid or ugly or alone or old or unimportant, you are perfect just the way you are.  Take back your power with me, it is the journey and challenge of a lifetime and it is so worthwhile.  No one can do it for you, trust me, I waited 31 years for someone to do it for me and now I’m going it for me and it feels pretty damn good.  Please share your story if you are so called!

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5 thoughts on “Why let the emotions do you in?

  1. Laura

    I have moments like that all the time. I’m also working on not letting them take over. It is hard to keep things in perspective in the moment, but it is getting easier the more I work at it! Thanks for sharing!

  2. This is such a profound post. I enjoyed reading it and I can totally relate. I have had a few similar scenarios where I was putting what I thought other people were thinking of me ahead of my own children’s needs. It is funny when you step back and just breathe how clear everything becomes and you do realize that you have control over your thoughts. I am 32 and for some reason this idea of me being in control of my thoughts and emotion is a rather new revelation. If this is the wisdom you attain in your 30s I can’t wait to see what we get in our 40s. Great post!

  3. Thanks! I so agree about how it’s only lately that I’ve started to realize that I have some control in my life and that no, I am not negative, I am not judgemental, it is just what it is always around us and we can pull out of it, take back our power and breathe and do what feels right for us instead of what is expected of us. I just turned 32 too:) Maybe it’s a magic number, tee hee. Thanks so much for your comments, I appreciate it. I think that if we are open and aware, the world will just continue to open up to us, to show us what is possible, to show us how great we truly are and that we don’t need to keep searching, we are the answer. That is the most profound thing I’ve ever read. You are the answer, you are the answer to all of your searches. The power is in you, it is you, YOU! I wrote about that in the quote section of my blog. It still stops me in my tracks when I remember that. I’ve never read anything more powerful. It is me, it always has been and I’m right here, right now. Brilliant I say.

  4. Lisa Wall

    I just came back from the Caribbean. You are right: they are so carefree! It’s wonderful. They are never hurried, smile all the time, always stop to talk to children and babies, and seem to be always dancing. And this is despite living in a country with social problems and poverty much higher than our own. Even when it rains they laugh and tell us it’s “Dominican liquid sunshine”. lol

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