You know, I am constantly amazed by my daughter. She is so inspiring, so open, so beautiful, so funny, so true, so full of light and love. I totally want to be like her when I grow up. Tee hee. I am a grown up and I think that we can all be more child-like, in fact, that is our true nature, we just get so bogged down in our world by beliefs, expectations, pressures, and then we start to shut down. Now that I am healing and opening myself up to my true nature, my true self, I am soooo excited by all the opportunities that my daughter and life are presenting to me, to show me the way, to show me what’s possible, to show me that to go beyond the expectations, the beliefs, the crap, that is where truth is, the love is, our love and true selves!
Here’s what I mean! Last week, Zara and I were going to a community centre to do some cooking with three other moms and their children. I last blogged about this in my post “how I almost gave up my power and then recovered,” just a few days ago when I had some Bradlee time and went on a writing blitz. So, I was writing an email to the other moms to let them know I was going to make a huge pot of pasta sauce with beef. As I was typing, Zara was asking me to type too, for her turn. So I let her type and she said, “I want to make raspberry soup, mommy.” I typed it out for her in the group email and then she typed in her “words” and then we sent it. She was so excited! Part of me was like, “okay, ya so she thinks we’re going to make raspberry soup,” and the other part of me was thinking it was cute how excited she was. It only dawned on me the next morning as we were getting ready that she actually wanted to make raspberry soup. She was asking me to get out some spices for her and the honey and the raspberries. I said to myself, “ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, she actually wants to do this, oh, okay, why not, she can cook with us, get the full experience, ya, okay, this can work.” So I got out some frozen turkey stock I had made after Christmas, and I asked her about all the spices she wanted me to pack. It was brilliant. I could have said, “no, you are not cooking raspberry soup, you will help me with the sauce,” or “no you will just play with the kids and not cook,” or something limiting like that, but it didn’t occur to me. It just occurred to me that I should support her and nurture her creativity. The old me, the person I always thought I was, would have felt stuck, pressured and it may not have worked out because I would have been operating from a stuck, shut down place, but now that I’m healing and I’m discovering my true self, my true nature, I am more open (as we all truly are) and I am more receptive to the world, to myself, to my family.
Wouldn’t you know it, the soup was friggin amazing?!!! Slightly on the salty side for my tastes, but amazingly flavorful and brightly pink because of the raspberries. I was astounded and impressed at her culinary skills. Have I mentioned she turns 3 in February!?! Let’s put aside our limiting thoughts and beliefs, about ourselves, our children, about everything. Let’s let our love come up and wrap it’s arms around us and comfort us when we are feeling so stuck in what we think is real, the thoughts and fears and beliefs we have that plague us. We can let go of that, I promise. I’m doing it now. If you had told me that by healing and actually getting out what I had repressed for my whole life would actually free me up to be my true self, I would have laughed, but now I’m living it and it amazes me and astounds me, that all of this is me, is within me, was within me all along, through all the pain and sadness I have lived through and put myself through unconsciously. Well, at least I’m here now, celebrating and loving, and living my true life. I just had a big healing session with Jean two days ago, and I’m just in the process of writing it up for those who are curious about how this is all happening, and plus, I really want to share it, to show what was holding me back, how I let it go with Jean (our family’s healer/coach/guide), and how it continues to release and how it helps me put my life in context, the physical pain I was suffering, the emotions I was repressing and what I needed to release, and the continuing release and opening a few days later. I’ll leave it at that and then finish the big healing post soon.
Back to Zara and the raspberry soup….For those of you who want to know, this is what Zara put it her soup:
-turkey stock, water, frozen raspberries, tons of salt, pepper, honey, cinnamon, nutmeg, a few carrots and celery, a costco salt free spice mix, basil, oregano and thyme.
What a genius. What a joy it was to watch her, standing on her stool, very seriously, pouring spices, opening and closing lids, stirring, and then running off to play with me and the kids and then whenever I said, “Pause the games, I have to check the sauce,” she’d say, “I have to check my soup!” and we’d stand next to each other, stirring, and adding and tasting. Life is good. I just wish I had pictures of Zara, the chef!! Instead, I offer a picture of what Zara and her Dad, Robbin, cooked last week, the day after the community centre cooking, when I had some time to write in this blog. Baklava. Exactly!! No one would ever expect an almost 3 year old to be patient enough to make this, but it’s us, it’s us adults who often don’t have the patience, they do….we have to find it within us, it’s there, I promise. I have found mine and it’s infiniteness astounds me sometimes…is infiniteness a word? Should I have written infinity? Tee hee.