Again, life continues to astound me. As I open up and heal and open and heal, I can see so much more, I can see how life provides up with opportunities to heal, to let go and to flourish.
We were at my parents’ house last week after Christmas. As I’ve mentioned previously our daughter Zara loves to put on make-up. My mom, whom Zara calls Nini, was about to put her make-up on in the morning and she called out to Zara, “Zara, I’m going to put on my make-up, do you want to come with me and put some on too?” Like almost 15 minutes later (tee hee!), Zara emerged, fully decorated and excited. She ran out of the room with her arms open wide and jumping up and down, waiting for us to notice all the make-up she put on. There was some shiny lip gloss, some blush, and she put some of our eyeliner on and she had learned how to curl her eyelashes. Priceless. How amazing that they were able to share those special moments together. Let’s flash to me at 14 or 15…..
My mom was in the bathroom putting on make-up and I was watching her, as I tended to do. I asked her, “Mom, how do you do that, can you show me?” And her response was something like, “Well, you just have to figure it out, no one ever showed me,” or something along those lines. I remember being devastated. So if there are any other memories about my mom teaching me or helping me with make-up (I slightly remember for my prom how she told me to buy red lipstick, and then for the other prom I went to when I was actually graduating, she really took me shopping and bought me tons of make-up and let me practice with it), they are marred because of that. That’s the one I always remembered, which is unfortunate, but I guess that’s how the brain works. I love my mom dearly, she did soooo much more for me than was ever done for her and I see her now, not from that place of pain I held onto for so long, but from a place of love, which I will forever be grateful for, this place of love is so much more comfortable, so much more right, letting it go and forgiving and moving on.
So when she opened up her heart to Zara, welcomed her into the bathroom, probably put her up on the counter and helped her with the make-up, my heart sang, yay for healing, yay for letting go, yay for second chances. What a healing moment for our family, for me, for Zara and for my mom.