For a long time, I was pretty shy. As I’ve started on this healing journey and freeing my self from limiting behaviors, roles and judgments, I’ve been opening up more socially. I’m not so worried about having something to say, I tend to know that my heart will guide me, will let the words come, that I don’t need to try so hard all the time. It’s been a huge relief and a welcome change. I don’t want my daughter to see me hiding, see me getting all nervous about what to say, or see me avoiding people because I’ll not know what to say (when I was young, my dad and I were at the grocery store and I pointed out his friend in the produce section and I said, hey there he is and my dad said, oh he’s probably busy, let’s just go down this aisle….my dad was quite shy at the time, he may still be, I don’t really know. I just know that that was very confusing for me!).
Our family was at the grocery store on Christmas Eve, getting some last supplies, and when we were at the cash, I was chatting with the cashier and the neighboring cashier wished her a happy birthday. I was holding Zara and I said, “Hey Zara, it’s her birthday,” and I pointed to the cashier. She smiled at us and looked shy about it. I asked the cashier named Melissa if anyone had sang her happy birthday yet and she said yes, so I was almost not going to do it, but the same neighboring cashier said, “Well it doesn’t mean she won’t want to hear it again,” or something like that. So I looked at Zara and said, “Should we sing her happy birthday?” The cashier was like, ‘Oh no, that’s okay,” and part of me was like, do it Bradlee, do it!! So I did it, and loudly too. The cashier was embarrassed but you could tell she was pleased. I wasn’t embarrassed at all, in fact I really enjoyed it. Then, a lady was at the neighboring cash and she said, “Oh it’s my birthday too, doesn’t it suck that it’s on Christmas Eve?” So I looked at her, thinking it was a shame that she thought it sucked, instead of just feeling how extra special it is that she was born so close to Christmas, one of the most loving, joyful times of the year, but then I said, well, what the heck, so I asked her her name, and then I sang her happy birthday too, possibly even louder. Robbin, my husband, told me afterwards that she brightened right up after hearing it. She thanked me and we left the grocery store. I was so proud of myself for how far I had come, and for the opportunity for me to blast through my past life experiences with hiding at the grocery store, and being able to celebrate the magic that each one of us is, the magic that so many of us have lost touch with. I celebrate all of you, happy birthday to you all.