Learning to Life Powerfully

For the last six months, a deeper me has been emerging and I have been witnessing a form of my own death.  I feel like I have been swinging back and forth between this hugely powerful me and this little and small version of myself that is now ready to dissolve and make room for the bigger me.

A lot of my writing lately has been about this swing and this emergence and dissolving and it has been deeply healing for me.  I have been putting so much effort into loving the dissolving parts of me and that has been wonderful and amazing, but lately I have been feeling like I needed to take a different course of action, although I wasn’t sure what it was.

This evening, while I was driving to the grocery store, I felt all of the old emotions coming up, like they were dissolving and healing, and then I felt a greater and deeper part of me say, okay, enough, it’s time to focus on the one who is emerging, and not the one who is dissolving.  And that voice within me told me to start writing blog posts about learning to live from this new power that is emerging within me, instead of what is leaving and dissolving.  It’s almost as if the old that is dissolving is already on it’s way out and it knows it is honoured and loved, or else it wouldn’t be leaving!   Neat, eh?

I sometimes feel shy about allowing the emerging one within me to be fully present in my everyday life and now that I’ve made this choice to focus on it, I’m both nervous and excited because I have a feeling that it will take me under its wing and teach me to shine, lead and roar, more than ever before.

I want to give myself permission to:

  • be a motivator, both for myself and for others
  • speak the truth that my being wants to speak, without always trying to fit in or please others.
  • rally people and bring them together in peace and unity and excitement because it is fun to be alive!
  • dance and sing wherever I go and not be scared of the judgement of others.
  • be the full me that I came here to be, without being shy or wondering if it’s okay to be my full and true self.
  • host workshops for learning how to come home to your heart that would include journalling, chanting and dancing.
  • write more and more and more.
  • know that I am worth it, that I matter and that I am very, very capable.
  • love my self so much and to let that radiate out to others.

I know that I am an empathic person who feels very much and that I don’t always need to focus on every little thing that I feel, but that I can focus on this new power emerging within me and let it do the work of living a life!  It’s funny, because this writing feels so freeing, yet so new; it’s really reinforcing that it’s time for me to focus on the power because I’m not as comfortable with that yet, because I have spent so much time comforting my scared little self.

May we all blossom and emerge in our own time and in our own unique way and may we all complement each other’s openings.  May we all be blessed with the courage to be our amazingly powerful selves!

Hourglass of Humanity

Hourglass of Humanity

To the parts of me that are peeling away and who feel unsafe about where the shedding will take them, I love you.

To the parts of me who feel so broken and unravelling and who don’t know where to go or what to do or how to act, I love you.

To the waves of emotions that wash through me, both gently and with full force, I love you.

I am learning to be the observer of all that happens within me and through me and around me, but the ones who are merging, shedding, peeling away and molting are unsure about how to do this.

Is it me I am feeling or just the waves of emotions that all humans feel?

I do think we are connected through our feelings and through our truest and deepest natures. It’s like we’re an hour glass, collectively and individually, and we feel it when the sand moves from one side to the other, kind of like how humanity is moving from living unconsciously to living more consciously, but the hour glass keeps flipping throughout that evolution, so that we can have the ultimate experience of growth, both personally and collectively.

Today, the hour glass has flipped and I am feeling that despair, that pain, fatigue and exhaustion. By writing this though, I feel better.  The hour glass will tip again and I can watch the grains of sand pouring through me, no matter what they bring along with them to be witnessed, observed and loved.

Peace to you and to all.

Note from me: I wrote this nearly two months ago and it helped me to be more patient, loving and understanding with myself as I was flipping back and forth between feeling blissful and lost. I can sense that I will expand on this topic in the near future as I have more insights from going through this!  May it help you! Namaste!!!


Oh my dear precious heart

I asked for words to describe what was going on inside of me this morning and the words below are what came to me.  I recognize that although I often wish I had an instruction manual for what is happening inside of me, that the instructions and guidance is all right there, inside of me, just waiting for me to notice.




Oh my dear precious heart

Oh my dear precious heart,

I love you.

Help me put words to these feelings,

these sensations of being dragged down into an abyss of despair.


I feel the shell cracking open and it is painful.

I know what is waiting for me underneath and

I am doing the best I can in the meantime to

love the one whose shell is cracking,

whose time is up,

the one who is coming up to be loved

before she dissolves back into infinity

to the heart of the universe,

where she can once again merge with the Totality of the One

who is emerging from underneath the shell.


Oh dissolving one, I love you.

I feel you in the tightness of my muscles,

in the pathways of fear that you have weaved

through my lymphatic system,

in the cramping around my heart and the

shifting and rewiring in my brain.


I feel like my body and I are getting ready for your Exaltation,

the only thing is I don’t know what to do for you or me in the meantime.


The pain is so real and I love you.

The exhaustion is so real and I love you.

The tenderness and weakness that comes in waves

is so real and I love you.

The vulnerability that is pressing to be released is very real

and it is who I truly am, a wide open being with a tender loving heart,

who has no secrets, who is unashamed of her feelings

who is compassionate to herself and others, and

who can be authentic

instead of how she is supposed to be.


She is emerging and I feel like I am dying.

Oh precious heart, oh precious one who is dying,

I love you both.


Please take charge of my death and emergence dear Lord

and please help it to be gentle and full of opportunities for growth for me.

Please continue to guide me from within and without as I

progress through this experience, all while learning how to take better

care of myself, all of me,

all while having a day job, a wonderful family, and a home.

Show me to bow down so very deeply within me and to have the courage

to love and surrender the one who is dying

so that I may emerge

fully as the grace of God in form.


Please help me to allow these changes to take place with as much grace and humility as possible.

Please help me to love the one who is dying,

the one who is hanging on to the need to control, to dominate

and to blame.


May this experience teach me to love everything in my experience more deeply than ever

before and may my death and rebirth be a gift to all hearts who have and who will be going

through their own version of this experience.


May we all allow the light of our souls to emerge fully.

May we all love and nurture the one

we always thought we were,

the one who is dying,

the one who is reuniting with our

One True and Collective Holy Nature.

Loneliness: a poem and reflection

What is loneliness but a word?  A word we give so much of ourselves to….

What if we are really only lonely for ourselves?

What is important to you?  What makes you feel happy, uncomfortable, angry and sad?

By asking ourselves these questions and any number of deep questions, we get to know ourselves and we stop looking for answers in society, in a role we have or play, in a job, an income, from our conditioning, from others, from our so-called social status or even our Facebook status.

Is it possible to get our own attention?  Is it possible that everything other than our deepest selves are distracting us, almost like a gift, so that we can learn to go to our own “store” within, to explore, look for “deals” and find out our real status?

That is the gift in all of the busyness of our North American society and what it values; the distractions can be so numerous that we can have no choice but to find shelter within, only to discover a whole world of magnificence that has been quietly waiting for us.  It’s called You, it’s called Me, it’s called Us.

If we are with ourselves and we spend time tending the gardens of our own hearts, bodies, minds and spirits then what is loneliness but a word…because ultimately wherever we each go, we are there.  Maybe, individually and collectively, we can learn for each of us to be all we each need…to be enough…to be the answer and companion we have been seeking all along.

May all loneliness be lifted up to Heaven to be healed, resolved and transformed, lovingly and gently, for the well-being of all hearts.


Teach Me

I wrote this poem over a year ago now.  It was when I was at the cusp of learning that I wasn’t in charge of my life, that I could turn it over to something different, to God, to the Universe, to the Creator.  I wasn’t sure how to turn my life over, so I wrote this and I liked it.  It helped me to know that I could metaphorically move over, even though I didn’t quite know how, and allow a greater part of me to steer the ship.

Teach Me

Teach me dear Lord how to share my gifts with the world.

Teach me to walk in the light of divinity’s grace so that others walking near me and around me may find the path to the love that they are.

Teach me to spread breadcrumbs and pebbles of light that will shine with your grace so that others may see the shimmer and find it reflecting out of their hearts and their eyes.

Teach me because I don’t know how and I long to share my gifts.

Teach me.

My heart hears your song in the wind.

My hands long to hold the hands of those lost in the darkness;

to whisper to them to follow the path to the light and

to remind them of their own grace,

your grace.

Teach me to love my own heart so that the love overflows and ripples out to all hearts.

Teach me to be kind to myself so that I have more to give others.

Teach me to surrender and bow to the divinity that courses through me.

Teach me to dance in the full spectrum of light that I am.

Teach me to sing to the oceans with my voice and to drum my praise and gratitude.

Teach me to lead when I don’t know the way.

Teach me to relax and have faith in your everlasting presence and love.

Teach me to be a master so that I may dance, sing, love and embrace all that is.

Teach me to become fully integrated, so that I may welcome home all the lost, banished and shamed parts of myself.

Teach me.

May the waters of heaven wash through me and cleanse my body, spirit, mind and soul.

May the waters of heaven wash through the hearts of all.

May we all sing our songs

once again.

Become the Ocean

The two sides of me met today.


The part of me that feels connected to the divine has been growing stronger and

she nurtured the one who has been trying to stay afloat in the ocean of human suffering.


She whispered to the one who has been struggling to float

And she said,


“Become the ocean.

You don’t need to try to float anymore.

You don’t need to fight anymore.

You don’t need to struggle anymore.

Become the ocean.

Merge with the ocean.

Stop fighting and give yourself to the ocean;

for when you are the ocean

you don’t have to do anything;

you just are the ocean

and you can just observe everything that happens in the ocean,

without getting lost in the waves and storms.”


“Become the ocean,” she said.


I watched the one who struggles

and she stopped flailing around

and she started to relax.

After a few minutes

she wasn’t there any more,

for she had merged with the ocean.

The one who struggles became the one

who observes life and all of its waves,

as opposed to the one who fears the waves and tries

to get away from them.


For now I will rest and

be grateful to the wholeness within me

for bringing the one who struggles to the surface,

to become the ocean;

a symbol of the wholeness of the universe,

of the waters of heaven that pour into all hearts,

regardless of when we are ready to become the ocean, the universe,

the purity, the divine.


May we all rest easy in knowing that the waters will call for us to join them

when we are ready to stop the fight,

the struggle to stay afloat.


Peace be with you and with me, as we allow the shift in our experience

from the floater

to the all:

the ocean.

My thoughts about this poem: This was literally my experience yesterday and it blew me away.  I was dizzy so I lay down and then I started crying and I felt the right side of me awaken and talk to the left side of me, who was drowning.  The words I wrote above were what I heard within me.  I was repeating, “become the ocean,” out loud to myself for a short while too.  I am feeling very blessed to be going through this awakening and it is my wish and intention that by sharing this with you, that you will know that you are not alone, that there are gifts in all of your suffering and that the answers truly do come at the right time. I have wished for my life to be easier many times, but now that I am here, I would not have traded one bit of suffering, because it is exceptionally sweet and beyond description to be learning to pull myself up out of suffering and give myself a hug.  May your inner truth shine so brightly so that it may speak softly to you, just as mine is starting to do more and more.



I wrote this poem a few days ago, when I was feeling so much pulling me away from myself and I didn’t know what to do.  I was trying to work at my desk, but it was hard and I felt like I was barely staying above the surface of what I was feeling.  For some reason, I decided to write, and through doing so, a deeper experience of the “pull” came to me and I was freed a few hours later as it sank in.  May these words bring awareness of the pull that is the ego, that is the unconsciousness on the planet, so that you may see how free you already are.  Many blessings to you!


There is a part of me that never needs to be fed by anything
as it is complete, whole and self-nourishing.
However, the part of me that feeds off of drama, junk food,
competition, hate, anger, rage, despair,
overwhelm, panic and sadness
is present.
It is showing me it is present.
It is wanting me to feed it
ceaselessly and
without any regard to conscious action.

I see you.
I feel you.
I know your hunger.
I cannot feed you in the way that you want, crave or need.
I am waking up and you are hungry.
I know you will never be satisfied, that you will always crave, reach, pull, grab and hang on.
I don’t know what to do for you, except to be your witness,
the witness to what drives humanity to be inhuman,
the witness to the cause of the suffering of all beings,
the cause of the competition, greed and destruction
that is now ready to be revealed;
ready to be loved
witnessed and
through compassion, separation and merging with the wholeness within.

May your dissolving be gentle, peaceful and loving.
May I have the courage to be your witness
no matter how fiercely you crave, hunger or hold on.
I love you and I am here,
separating from you
witnessing you
loving you as your journey comes to this point of completion.
Thank you.

May all beings be blessed with the courage
clarity and awareness to separate from the hunger
and merge with the one who never hungers.
May the homecoming of the one who hungers be glorious.